A few years back there was an email going around called “I’ve learned”. I loved it. It was honest and real. Just how I like things. In that spirit, I have made my own “I’ve learned” list. It’s a little cynical. Just to warn you.

I’ve Learned

….that there is a reason 40-somethings should not hang out with 20-somethings.

….that human beings have a never-ending capacity for self-denial.

….not many people will admit it when they’ve made a mistake.

….some people are just nasty. Plain and simple. Nothing caused it and nothing will change it.

….that honesty is not always the best policy.

….that blood is not thicker than water.

….that society blames men more than women in most relationship issues.

….most men are not “pigs” which is how most women label them.

….that money can buy comfort.

….people usually act out because they are craving attention.

….romantic passion never lasts.

….it is probably easiest to know very few people a very little bit.

….keeping up an emotional wall is not always unhealthy.

….learning graceful acceptance is more important than expressing every frustration, complaint and lament.

….there is no such thing as a god in control. He does not cause things to happen, decide people’s fate, nor fix wrongs. He is, however, there to talk to should people feel the need.

….it is insulting when people say “God only gives people what they can handle.” There is absolutely no side of tragedy that is a gift. In any way, shape or form.

….not everything has a bright side.

…. the only guaranteed way to stop a bully is by punching them in the nose.

….women are highly competitive.

….lots of men speak to women as if they are stupid.

….that you come into the world alone and that you go out of the world alone.

….staying neutral can be as bad as being the oppressor.

….that the popular saying “do not judge” is not only impossible to carry out but is also dangerous.  Many wrongs throughout history have been corrected only because someone had the courage to judge. If you don’t believe me ask Rosa Parks.

….no matter how much you love your children, they are going to blame you for at least one of their character flaws.

….contracts, policies and legal agreements are not worth the paper they’re written on.

….everything is political. There is very little you will encounter that is not simply people maneuvering themselves within a group in order to gain control or power.

….having children may not necessarily harm a relationship but it definitely won’t help a relationship.

….people who believe that somehow life is just giving you “what you asked for in order to grow” are never people who have suffered the illness and subsequent death of a child, the murder of a loved one, the loss of more than one member of your family at a time,  the witnessing of torture, inhumanity, cruelty or suicide, or been the victim of betrayal of any kind. (Not to mention a person who has suffered all of these things in one life time.)