Monthly Archives: May 2012

Too Bad We Had to Meet

Posted on by
10

Sean’s doctor retired. That might not sound like a big deal but Sean is my 12-year-old with Duchenne Muscular Dystrophy. This was not his family doctor – this is the guy he sees for his DMD checkups and his (much hated) steroids.

Now I don’t know about any of you but when a family member has a debilitating and deadly disease I kind of come to rely on the doctor. I don’t mean rely on him as in cry on his shoulder or expect him to fix my son but you know, rely on him as someone sharing the burden a little bit.

I liked this guy. A lot. He seemed honest, reasonable and genuine. He was greatly skilled at communicating. Sean always felt comfortable and had a good laugh with the guy. He was open to questions anytime about anything – from skin conditions caused by steroids to the latest in research into treatment. On this front, he was connected worldwide. If we heard of news from anywhere in the world he could fill in the blanks on the latest clinical trials.

He was someone who knows the disease as well as we do. Someone who has spent decades watching boys with DMD come and (sadly) go. Someone we can call when we are having some of those issues that no one else ever even thinks about when it comes to life in a wheelchair and weakening muscles. Someone who actually empathized when we admitted that, at times, we probably overindulge the little dude a bit too much. Someone who, in fact, admitted he would do the same thing were it his grandson who had the disease.

Whether he knew it or not this guy was an anchor for a family in despair.

And now he’s gone.

No phone call. No letter. No email. No goodbye.

He was there and now he is not.

**************

I am reminded of my favourite doctor/author/philosopher Gordon Livingston and his book Only Spring on mourning the loss of his 6-year-old son, Lucas, who died from leukemia. An oncologist who had worked with the family throughout the ordeal abandoned them at the end. He left town right at the excruciating part of the nightmare. After his son’s death, Dr. Livingston felt the need to write this oncologist a letter. He had this to say.

Dear Bob,

I wanted you to know that we believe that you and the rest of the oncology staff did everything you could to save Lucas. I also think that, for all your collective experience, the ordeal that a family of a dying child goes through is not fully understood, even by those like you who have seen it many times. I hope you will read the enclosed journal that I kept during Lucas’ illness. I send it to you unedited; I have not yet been able to read it and perhaps never shall. I think you might find something in it that will help you respond to the plight of other families who place their precious children in your care and then must cope with unimaginable disaster.

While I do not hold you responsible for what has happened to us, I think you will understand why I am sorry I ever met you.

Gordon

I’d Like to Thank the Academy

Posted on by
10

It was quite a thrill on Saturday when I saw notification on my blog that M.J. from M.J. Joachim’s Writing Tips for Success had passed this on to me.

I think M.J. and I first became acquainted during the a to z challenge but we grew to know each other a bit better when I responded to her post on the Facebook group “The Writer’s Post”. M.J.’s blog on writing tips is always very helpful and well, she’s just an all round positive person. Thanks M.J.!

So there are not many rules to this award it would seem. Just some random facts about myself and also to pass the award on to others.

Ten Random Facts About Pammustard

  1.  I use the pammustard pseudonym to disassociate this aspect of my life from my “real” job. My real name is Angela but most call me Angie.
  2. My pseudonym is a reference to a Beatles song. Secretly, I am hoping that of the 745 400 twitter followers he has, somehow Paul McCartney will notice me. And decide to be friends with me.
  3. My middle name is Winnifred. Angela Winnifred. What a handle. I am actually proud to have this middle name because it belonged to my Dad’s mom and she really was the most patient, loving and giving grandmother anyone could ever ask for.
  4. I am generally very trusting and believe the best about people. Although some events in the past few years have made me re-think this part of my nature, I think I’m going to keep it. It is too difficult to be cynical and mistrusting all the time.
  5. I love math. Boring perhaps but true.
  6. Life goes way too fast. Bad things happen to good people. And you never know what’s around the corner. I try to remember this always. And to live my life accordingly.
  7. I am a fairly laid back parent. I just hope that regardless of what life has in store for them, my kids turn out to be compassionate and courageous human beings.
  8. I love hot, sunny days on a beach. And I love to swim.
  9. I wish I could sing. And play the guitar. Both at the same time.
  10. When I was a kid I was a baton twirler and was actually quite good at it. My mother told me she always regretted letting me drop out of this activity in grade 9. She probably said this because I dropped out and took up smoking cigarettes and liking boys instead.

There you have it. I am struggling a bit with the second rule about this award. I follow varied blogs. They don’t necessarily follow me. I decided from the beginning I don’t care about that. If I like a blog, for whatever reason, I go back to it again and again. If they don’t reciprocate, I don’t care. Some are written by men. I am not sure they want a “Beautiful Blogger” award. Wouldn’t want to offend their manhood so this is what I will do. I will list some of my favourite blogs. If I don’t actually “tag” them on their own blog and they happen to find themselves here they are more than welcome to ask for the badge.

All Things Campbell  by Lisa Campbell – a great writer, interesting, gentle and funny too

Chiz Chat by Chiz - great writer, student, a bit snarky (said in a loving way!) and very funny

Good Youngman Brown by MikeYoung (said as one word with two syllables) - honest and very real style of writing and very funny (I so hope he writes a novel – go read his flash fiction and you’ll agree)

A Writer Weaves a Tale by Sandra Tyler -published author and mother and writes about both, lots of great fiction as she takes part in a lot of challenges and blog hops

The Young Female Professional by Young Female Professional (just discovered her blog) - she really is young and female and professional and although I am much older her tales of the perils of dating are hilarious and very well written

Snow Shoveling In Canada by G. Thomas Boston - okay I have mentioned this one enough times that Mr. Boston is soon going to start thinking I am stalking him (which technically I kind of am!) -intelligent, sarcastic, witty and very funny -and a fellow Canadian too!

There you have it. Check them all out. It won’t be a waste of time. I promise!

50 Ways to Have Fun with a Missing Letter

Posted on by
8

To wrap up the week I am going to ask you to join in on a couple of goofy but fun things that happened to me this week. Please participate if you feel so inclined. Continued laughter is always a good thing.

First off, I heard a hit song from 1975 the other day and I have not been able to get it out of my head.

I have to admit, I turned the volume up and had myself a good time listening to this song of insanity. As I smiled and hummed along I started to count the ways in which Paul Simon explains you can leave your lover. You can:

1. Slip out the back, Jack.
2. Make a new plan, Stan. (is this one of the ways to leave or is it what you do when an attempt has failed?)
3. You don’t need to be coy, Roy. (this is not a way to leave, this is advice on how to act)
4. Hop on the bus, Gus.
5. You don’t need to discuss much. (more advice, not an actual way to leave)
6. Just drop off the key, Lee. And get yourself free. (it’s that easy?)

According to my calculations that is only 4 ways. So my question is this – where are the other 46 ways? When I cued up the song on youtube lots of people had left comments suggesting other ways to leave. The first person suggested “push her off the cliff, Cliff” which, to me, was a zero on creativity. There have got to be more inspiring ways than that. Can you think of any? Perhaps we really can think up 46 more ways to leave your lover. I doubt it, but maybe.

My second bit of fun this week came at work when a system-wide memo was released from our workplace with the word “public” misspelled as “pubic”. Once we’d heard about it and laughed about it, my friend stood up from the table and said she was off to the “pubic washroom”. I then added that the faux pas must have been ”pubicly humiliating”. And so it went. Feel free to add to this ridiculousness. I am dying to see if you come up with some new ones.

Reflection Post About that Challenge

Posted on by
6

A few short words on the challenge to which we will no longer refer by name. Well at least not until next year.

As I stated at the end of my Z post, it was the best of times, it was the worst of times. I was surprised how difficult it was to post something six days a week and realized my life is way too busy to ever keep up with a daily schedule. Now, when I win the lottery, which I am fully expecting to happen, then I will have more time on my hands and posting daily will be a cinch. :)

Because it was all I could do to get a full post written each day (I had not completed any in advance) I didn’t visit as many other blogs as I would have liked. However, I did make a point to do so once the challenge was over. Better late than never as my Grandma would say. In fact, I am still exploring other blogs.

I met some very nice people and Lisa Campbell of All Things Campbell designed a new header for me. That was a whole bunch of awesomeness right there. She has designed a few others since then. Visit her blog and check them out. She rules.

Speaking of visiting other blogs, it would be great in the future if the list of participants on the a to z website offered a short description of each blog. This would save a lot of time when attempting to visit five blogs a day.

An honourable mention to Snow Shoveling in Canada who took up the challenge when I twisted his arm asked him.  It was great reading his daily blogs.  I kicked myself a few times when I read his post before writing mine. I could never touch his wit, his poetic talents or his complete command of the English language! He is similar to a walking dictionary. Only with a snow shovel and a sense of humour.

Last but not least, it was a bit intimidating visiting so many great writers and very popular blogs. I didn’t really pick up any new followers but did enjoy some comments here and there from a few new people.

Overall a very fun experience. It really felt like an accomplishment at the end. I can’t believe I am saying this but I would do it again for sure. Thanks to all who stopped by and left me a comment. And HUGE THANKS to Babs and Joey who kept my spirits up through the entire month of April with their comments and kind words of encouragement. And, lastly to Sandyrara. Thanks for the topic suggestions except the s is for sex topic and your comments along the way. :) Great to have reconnected after all these years.

The Blame Game: Everyone’s Playing It

Posted on by
14
Have you ever noticed human beings have a very difficult time accepting responsibility for their own choices? Children are particularly good at pointing the finger of blame. They can almost be forgiven – their brains are still in formation mode. But it is not just children. Many adults just can’t admit when their choices have led to an undesireable outcome. Responsibility is as lacking as other character traits for many people.

Here is one of the most head-scratchingest (borrowed word) examples I have seen in a long time. Last week CFTO news featured a family whose daughter has melanoma. She suffers from a severe case of tanorexia. Yes. I said tanorexia. This is the newest in an ever-increasing list of “addictions” that people apparently can’t control. This 22-year old Rhodes scholar young woman started her tanning career at the age of 16. When her friends gave her positive feedback about how wonderful she looked with a tan she was compelled to visit the salon more often. Before she knew it she was going for a fake-and-bake four times a week. Shocking she contracted melanoma isn’t it? She, along with her parents, are now pushing for legislation to put a minimum age requirement of 18 on tanning salons.

Huh????

So if she hadn’t become tanorexic until she was 18 then she wouldn’t have been diagnosed with melanoma until two years later? What kind of logic is this? And what is with her parents? Where were they when she was turning various shades of orange over the last 6 years? And where did she get the money? Tanning salons are not cheap. Were her parents funding the colour change? Most perplexing of all - has this family never heard of the dangers of tanning beds? Have they been asleep under a rock for the past couple of decades???

And yet another example of the blame game from the news this week. A rocket scientist woman filed a class action lawsuit against Nutella. This wife and mother was “shocked” when friends informed her that Nutella is not healthy.

This is not a health food.

According to an article in the Toronto Star, she “felt betrayed” by the makers of Nutella when she learned the product is full of sugar and fat. So she exercised her democratic rights and filed a lawsuit. The worst part of the whole story? She won. Any American consumer can apply for a refund and the makers of Nutella will refund them $4.00 to a maximum of three million dollars.

For the most astute amongst us.

I hereby nominate Nutella woman and tanorexia family for this year’s Darwin awards. Who seconds the motion?